Unlike thousands who shared wonderful pictures of their fathers on Facebook over the weekend, I didn’t. Truth is: I don’t even have a photo of mine, much less, one of us together. During my sixth grade year, he drifted away and I’ve seen him only a handful of times since. By the way, this is not, I repeat, not, a “Woe is Me” post.
Instead of holding on to negative, resentful thoughts regarding the decades of Daddy’s absence, I chose to embrace the positive recollections that I do have. At first, that approach was a tough pill to swallow, akin to digesting a hand grenade. But, I’d lamented the situation years ago, and it just made the pain, more painful. Why would I continue to opt for that, I thought? So, now, when it comes to thinking about my father, I recall blissful moments like helping him construct a barbecue pit brick by brick, camping with the baseball team that he coached, chopping down Christmas trees in the woods and listening to Hank Williams records. And, of course, he did have a part in bringing me into this world.
In addition to those acknowledgements, his not being present also made me truly respect other relationships – some of whom were father or mentor figures – in my life. I’ve been blessed with a multitude of those people, to include teachers, bosses, neighbors, relatives and, most certainly, my mother. On Father’s Day, I thought not only about my biological dad, but those other men and women – some of whom are childless – who’ve made an impact in my journey.
In my psychic medium practice, I often have clients who are seeking resolutions to relationship issues, some of which involve parents. During those sessions, energy is directed to identifying the best route to advance a client’s growth potential.
Being estranged from a parent was challenging, but it also taught me valuable lessons. As a result, I’ve become a more grateful and robust human being. Call this a “Wow is Me” post.
Love and light,
Tony
My Dear Tony,
There are so many of us that their Dads drifted away. I do remember your dad. Mostly I remember him coming home on Fridays and putting all of us in the car and driving down to river. That is really the only memory I have and then shortly he left. I like you decided a long time ago to be thankful for the ones that did want to be a part of my life. Hugs my friend and just for a note, you look like your dad. That is a good thing!!!
Hey Pam, thanks for sharing that story. I don’t even remember that one…LOL!
Hey, Tony. I didn’t know we had this in common. My parents split when I was around 11-12 and then my father more or less “moved on” over the next few years. I haven’t seen him intentionally since 1983. And you’re right–it does make you focus on other, positive relationships. All these years later, I definitely do not have a father-sized hole in my life.
Hey Mike! Thanks for sharing your story. Glad you had plenty of positive influences too! 🙂
Wow is you, indeed! I believe an attitude of gratitude heals a world of hurt, anger, and self-pity. Your blog and your practice will, hopefully, help those who suffer realize that there is, most always, something to be grateful for.
Attitude of gratitude! I love that!!! Thanks so much 🙂
My dear sweet Tony,
You (and Tracy) look VERY much like your daddy. He was an outstanding football player…..but you know, you have a wonderful Mama and some wonderful relatives who ALWAYS loved you and supported you. You were and are blessed. You have made the MOST out of life and have blessed OTHERS. Really, it was HIS loss. Your spirit is such a blessing to all who know you. I love you.
Becky Brock Wiggins
YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER….hahahaha
Thank you so much for those words and for being such a great teacher to me. It meant (and still does) a lot to me. Love you too! – Tony
p.s. Yep, my mother’s pretty wonderful 🙂
Thanks for sharing this one Tony. Madeline has very similar circumstances. I am going to share this with her when she returns from Catholic camp. I really do not know how she feels about it deep down but your message is the path that I will present to her so that she too can find peace from it all.
Hey Honey…thank you for reading. Your daughter is beautiful and will bring much light into the world. xoxo
Tony:
Thanks for sharing. Very heart warming. My Dad did not desert but he wasn’t the warm, supportive Dad I always wished for. Now that he is gone, I look at him with kinder eyes and realize he was probably doing the best he could with what he had to work with. Your outlook is exactly what I’d expect from you, my friend.
Robert
Dear Robert…thanks so much for reading and your comments. I can relate 🙂
What a refreshing perspective on an all too often occurrence. I remember him well from my younger days and have wondered from time to time about what happened to him. Sometimes we never know why certain individuals choose to follow a path away from their family. You were blessed to have your beautiful Mom and your sweet grandparents to help fill the void. Strong southern families are like that …. They pull together. Take care, Tony. Love ya.
Hi Sylvia – Thank you for reading and your thoughts. I appreciate it very much. I like to think that whenever there is a void or a gap in our lives, it’s just space that’s waiting to be occupied by positive influences. And, it happens…quickly! Love you too.
Tony,
This post really resonates with me. I’ve learned valuable lessons from my father-what to do and what not to do. I hope I’m a better father for it.
Thank you for a “wow-ful” post!
Travis
Hey! That’s so true: we do learn from all angles. And, then apply those learnings to our lives. I’m glad the post connected with you.
Tony,
Thank you for sharing your personal “daddy” experience with the world. It takes a lot of courage to let others know a bit of our personal life. Yet, when we do, many benefit from it on so many levels including ourselves.
I’m looking forward to reading your upcoming book to discover more about Tony Morris – and the experiences that brought you to be the terrific and talented person you are today!
Love and Joy,
Debi
Thank you, Debi! I could feel myself being led to write this particular post last weekend. My spiritual guide also gave me an added nudge! Glad I followed through; this blog has been my third most read one to date. And, yes, the book; stay tuned! Thanks, again! Love you!